Sometimes, we keep asking the same questions because we never learn from the answers we get.
When this happens, we continue the same pattern of behavior and casually accept failure with no consequence or accountability. What causes us to stay on the hamster wheel?
You were not serious and the goal didn’t matter that much
If you really think about it, you never intended to succeed. You remained in your comfort zone and there was nothing in place to entice you to leave your comfort zone. Or worse, you engaged in an activity so that you could tell yourself and others that… at least you tried.
Solution
Create a scenario whereby going back on your goals is more painful than going forward. Depending on your goal this may look different, for example, you can announce to everyone that you know that you will be climbing Mount Everest, losing weight, starting school. In the workplace, you can tell the person you respect the most that you will deliver a strong piece of work by a particular deadline. Swap your car for a bike or walk to work, do something drastic to get you motivated.
You do not have a full understanding of what you want to achieve
You have an idea of what you want to do but you have not explored it in-depth to understand how it will transform your life and the effort it will require from you. It’s like those people that jog the first week of January. The hype of what they could achieve, usually from content consumed on social media gets them off the couch. However, the moment they spend an extra thirty minutes at work, they have been thrown off and postpone the jog to tomorrow which ends up being the 2nd of January the next year. Due to the superficial basis of what needs to happen a lot of us realize the effort required, then those twenty pounds become acceptable because we still fit our pants.
If you build on a weak foundation your structure will eventually collapse – methodvulture.
If you build on a weak foundation your structure will eventually collapse.
– methodvulture
Solution
Gain clarity on why you want to change. It is essential that you know the motives behind wanting to change in order to sustain the momentum and commitment you have toward reaching your goal. There are a few questions to answer that bring to light why, what, and how you want to change.
Secondly, create a vision that will show you the direction in which you need to move. It is not enough to have the vision in your head; you need to map it out. By doing so, you create more clarity on where you see yourself in the future after you have executed your strategy and achieved your goals.
You hate taking risks
You are afraid of the consequences of taking action, positive or negative. What if I lose my money? What if I succeed and I need to spend more time working on the project? You need to bear in mind that there is no action without consequence, seen or unseen. Therefore, through inactivity, you have taken action.
Solution
Inform yourself as much as possible by learning as much as you can about what you want to pursue. When you do this, you are reducing the number of surprises ‘risks’ and can prepare for any obstacles you may face in the pursuit of your goals.
Weigh the pros and cons of doing it and not doing it. In one year, will you regret not starting today? This should indicate whether or not the risks are worth taking.
Focus on what you can control and plan for it. There will always be aspects that you cannot control and those you can. Being aware of it will help you lessen the impact of the effects of any negative aspects that you may encounter along the way
For example, you want to start a business but you live in an area susceptible to natural disasters and you are afraid an event may destroy your business. You cannot control the weather but you can buy insurance to cover you in case of an event.
There was no plan
Like many people, I hate planning. When I really just want to do something, I just start. Time and again this has proven to be the wrong approach; I succeed much more and faster when I plan what I want to do. This can be painstaking for those with phobias for commitment, accountability, and the generally lazy but it is a proven necessity for success and efficiency.
Solution
I recommend that you have a well thought out plan. This plan should encompass long, mid, and short term goals that drill down to budgets, timelines, resources, people, and all else that is relevant and applicable. Or you can write what you need to do at the back of your hand (I am half kidding). You need to be flexible and adjust your plan as events occur or new information emerges. If you do not adapt to things as they happen you may end up abandoning your goals.
You don’t have an appropriate support system
Who are the people that help you or encourage you in your pursuit of a better life? If you have none, it will be a tougher journey. Support systems are those people you believe have your back and will give you honest feedback and they can be from any sphere of life.
Solution
Write down a list of people that you think may lend a hand when you need it. Draw from family, friends, school, church, neighborhood, gym, or any other social circle. Be careful in your selection in that you need them to be positive and going to them should never cause you anxiety. Ensure that they will be available to provide the support you need by breaking down the nature and frequency of support you need from them. Allow them to consider and confirm if they can support you.
You are not managing your performance
When you don’t set metrics to measure how you are doing, you are setting yourself up for failure. You will continue with a process that doesn’t work, will get you nowhere and you will not see results. When you end up failing, you attribute your failure to everything except your performance.
Performance management provides a clear picture of what and how you are expected to contribute to accomplishing your objectives. The process isn’t to beat yourself up but to become more aware of your capabilities and where you need to improve.
Solution
Identify how you will measure your performance. These metrics should be set against the goals you want to achieve, therefore your activities and output will be your metrics. Track your progress frequently to ensure that you are taking the right steps and where you are not performing, stop the process and evaluate whether you need to take a different approach.